Hand me down
by Kuro Guardian
Summary: What noone seemed to realise is that Harry understands darkness. Darkness never wavers, never changes... In it's way it is perfectly safe.


What no one seems to understand is that Harry clearly understood darkness. Holding the mutilated shard of a nightmare's soul inside yourself is

not something that leaves you unscathed true, but it wasn't that, that taught him so much. It was dealing with people and their stupid fickled

ways. It was seeing the lies people so obviously preferred to the truth. It was being damned with praise as a sacrificial lamb no one really

expected to succeed.

…

Yes he understands darkness well and rather admires it because it does not waver. Darkness might lightened and corners of it are pits he shies

from, but darkness is always darkness. It is Light that changes and as the years went along Ginny became less a blessing and more a nuisance.

It became so that he wondered if he'd truly loved her or had simply latched onto the first thing that wasn't sure to die.

He studies the face of his youngest child and knows he'll stay only as long as this one remains to be got through school. Ginny smiles at him as he

devours his eggs and his stomach roils.

…

Darkness never wavers, it never changes and there are books amid the raided houses no one knows he kept. He had many books the ministry

would burn him alive for if he didn't know where they had their own copies. 'Magicks Moste Evil' and that text is only the most basic because

Westerns will never leave their tidy little blocks of logic least of all Englishmen. And the man's eyes are a brilliant, bitter blue in a hopelessly Asian

face - 'They call me wolf child' - as he hands you the scroll. "Do you know what you're gonna do with this? Are you sure?"

…

Their youngest is in her third year and he is watching Hedwig turn circles eights with a jaundiced eye. Lovely; really she looks only beautiful being

only two-dimensional and he damns the scroll he placed in her damns it as he crafts a new one. Ginny knocks at the door again and he already

knows she's been crying. The oldest of the children treats him with reproach, but he expected that because Light changes... it wavers and dies.

Darkness is far more tenacious daring him to turn away with those damnable - "I'm coming dear please give me a minute."

…

"What is this?" Her eyes are huge in her face giant enough to slow her down and the only 'good' thing Lockhart taught him knocks her down. She's

confused when she awakes before bustling off to make dinner and he knows why he married her. Arthur and Molly were what he wanted; the

parents he wanted but could never really have… Looking at it now he'd spent more of his wedding with them then her - might well have spent his

honey moon with Ron if given a chance. Fingers what still feels like a brand new wand as he wonder how much damage it could do to make her

forget their entire marriage.

…

He decides not to find out.

…

Smiling he gathers his things ignoring her tear-stained face. Whistling he shrinks everything and turns on the spot. Vanishing he reappears outside

a house no one could want. Kicking open the rusted fence he puts the scroll in his pocket as he licks his lips. And the first part goes just fine those

eyes staring at him as he restrains from kissing him with joy. Now comes the hard part - commanding the man be still he draws a complicated array

around him placing a diamond-like flask at one point and a light, little scroll at another. He meets those eyes and hopes he hasn't gotten it wrong.

…

It had worked well with Remus and utterly failed with Sirius. He doesn't think of Tonks and the m - Teddy still hasn't really forgiven him but then

Teddy doesn't really remember does he? Aligning his hands he summons his energy. An hour later the house has fully collapsed into it's self

authorities muggle and otherwise helpless to stop it.

…

"Potter." Oh, how those black eyes rage as long, fine fingers slide payfully across the chest of the Man-Who-Triumphed. Inwardly Harry laughs

knowing exactly what this makes him and realizing he never really needed the scroll because Severus owes him a deep impossible debt;

juon-a debt that can never hope to be repaid. Shaking hands unbutton his pants and he laughs aloud happy for the first

time in years with ever observant Remus sitting in the corner and Hedwig on the dresser tearing apart another nest. "Why?" Because Harry

understands darkness, understand it never really wavers only lightens and darkens in spots. "Because - I always wanted to be like my father and

Tom is really the only one I've ever had." Gripping the shocked man's lapels he pull them backward onto his bed.


End file.
